


Possibilities

by LannisterQueen



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 14:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17768777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LannisterQueen/pseuds/LannisterQueen
Summary: In an ideal world, she would’ve been glad to visit her friend, and Rhaella would have received her joyously. There would be no such concern about protocol, and Cersei would’ve been entertained by the queen without tension – received with laughter and welcoming arms and no hesitance or uncertainty. This glimpse of possibilities, of alternate universes where life would not have pushed them apart tear through lioness' chest, and she could cry for all that they lost without even having.The world was hardly ideal a thing, though.





	Possibilities

      She did not like being there; did not like city, misliked its ruler even more. Had it not been necessary, would never leave her den to anywhere near the dragons; but protocol demanded presenting her children to court, even more so when they happened to be fathered by the King’s _Hand_. Was situation different, she would’ve taken pride in it; tried to in spite of everything, but Aerys made sure to shame lioness once more, no matter that it was in front of all court. Yet, there were things she missed about the place. King’s Landing had staged several moments of joy, too, if in a past that felt too distant now. Days of youth and summer and girlish mirth became fond memories; she missed her dornish friend, and missed friendship with the queen — relationship with Rhaella had been strained for years, and how could it be otherwise? _Even that Aerys had tainted._ Exchanges with the queen had been courteous, but no more; they lacked warmth, lacked the enthusiasm of meeting between old friends.

      When last they parted, Rhaella had dismissed Joanna of her service (and all relief to return home and all _understanding_ of queen’s reasoning could not prevent wound in lioness’ pride — wound still not healed, not fully, not even now). Her return had been met with same sort of behavior that led her to be sent away; ‘twas not within _her_ power to stop it, though. Actions were not her own, and as unwanted for her as they certainly were for Rhaella. It humiliated them **both** ; yet consequences were left to them, while _he_ was free to do as he pleased. How could there be warmth, when there was so much room for resentment?

      Visit was still a couple days away of being over, though. And as the lady wife of the lord Hand, it was befitting that she would spend time in company of the queen (that either of them did not wish for it mattered little; but Joanna was well versed in her courtesies, and so was Rhaella, and if they did not want for it, neither of them gave fuel to gossipers to say so). Lack of safety felt for herself was extended to her children, and cubs were kept by her side most of the time; she worried about them here in ways she did not have to in Casterly Rock. Absence of their weight carried by her arms, of little hands grasping hers or familiar tug upon her skirts leads her to frown; it is but a second, but Joanna worries — and then eyes of green see her little lioness taking little steps towards the queen.

      Mouth opens with a scolding call of _Cersei_ , and hand reaches to pull her back, but Rhaella’s gesture is to allow child to continue, and so Joanna obeys (but gaze does not leave Cersei for a moment, and she worries – not about safety as much as about what daughter means to do, now). The queen would not harm her, regardless of their differences; Rhaella was gentle, gentler than Joanna herself, even.

      And there is amusement as she watches daughter so casually request the queen to pick her up, so unaware of shock it may cause, so _innocent_. Yet Joanna does intervene, then; to apologize for daughter’s bold manners and lack of understanding, to teach daughter about proper courtesies as well. She does not pick Cersei up, though; instead eyes display all of her surprise as the Targaryen chooses to indulge lion cub.

      It is fleeting, yet in that moment there is warmth and meeting a friend long gone. They both laugh, all resentment forgotten, all rifts and those who caused them sealed away from this small dome of happiness that shelters them for a second. But it is a moment, nothing more, and Joanna is not foolish to hope this to change anything in truth. With such thoughts, there is _sorrow_ ; mourning of joys they were denied, of friendship that could have been. In an ideal world, she would’ve been glad to visit her friend, and Rhaella would have received her joyously. There would be no such concern about protocol, and Cersei would’ve been entertained by the queen without tension – received with laughter and welcoming arms and no hesitance or uncertainty. This glimpse of possibilities, of alternate universes where life would not have pushed them apart tear through lioness' chest, and she could cry for all that they lost without even having.

      The world was hardly ideal a thing, though.

      For one brief moment, they had all that; Joanna simply wished it did not have to be just _one_.


End file.
